It’s Okay to Outgrow the Version of Me They Once Knew

 It’s Okay to Outgrow the Version of Me They Once Knew

When we enter the workforce, most of us are eager to prove ourselves — excited, optimistic, and ready to take on anything. We say yes to tasks, stay late, take pride in being “the dependable one.” Our inboxes are always open. Our smiles? Always ready. We become the version of ourselves that works. The version that gets praised.

Until one day, we realize: we’re exhausted. Not just tired — disconnected. From ourselves. From our needs. From the quiet life we used to imagine while dreaming as students.

The Version They Loved Was Easy

For a long time, I was the “yes” person. Like many young professionals, I thought being helpful meant being constantly available. I took pride in being reliable — the one who was trusted, who could manage, who never dropped the ball.

And then I started to burn out.

But when I began saying no… when I started drawing lines, even gently, I noticed the shift.
People stopped calling me first. I wasn’t looped into everything anymore.
And some whispered: “Nag-iba na siya.”

They weren’t wrong.
I had changed.
I had outgrown the version of me they once knew.

Why This Hits Different for Young Professionals

In our 20s and 30s, we’re told this is the time to hustle, to build our careers, to say yes to everything because “that’s how you grow.” There’s pressure to prove ourselves — especially in Filipino workplaces where hierarchy and pakikisama shape our behavior.

But what if we’re also allowed to evolve while we work?
To pivot? To slow down?
To stop trying to be the version of ourselves that only exists to please others?

Real Talk: Outgrowing Feels Like Losing

Sometimes, growth looks like becoming less visible.
You stop being the default host, the always-on mentor, the 24/7 group chat responder. You don’t offer to organize the office event or volunteer for every committee.

You stop saying “okay lang” when it’s not okay.
And yes — it feels like loss.

You miss being part of everything. You miss how people used to rely on you.
But you also remember the version of yourself that was quietly crumbling underneath all that applause.

That version served a purpose. But that doesn’t mean you have to stay there.

Learning to Dream Differently

Many of us were told to dream big. “Aim high.” But rarely were we told to dream truthfully.

Dreams can shift. Maybe you used to want to climb the ladder — but now you want slower mornings. Maybe you once craved a promotion — but now, you crave peace.

That doesn’t mean you failed.
It means you’ve changed — and that’s allowed.

It’s Okay If Not Everyone Understands

Not everyone will get it. Some people only liked the version of you who said yes without thinking. Who didn’t ask questions. Who kept working through tears. That version made their life easier.

But the new you — the one who values rest, boundaries, and self-respect — that’s the one you owe your loyalty to now.

Let them say you’ve changed.
You have.
And maybe — for the first time — it’s for you.

So to every young professional trying to be brave enough to grow:
You don’t have to explain your healing.
You don’t have to justify your boundaries.
You don’t have to return to the version of you that made others comfortable.

It’s okay to outgrow who you used to be.
Even if it means walking alone for a while.
Even if they miss the old you.

Because the new you?
Is finally becoming real.