When Grace Is a Privilege: A Realization from a Graduation Speech That Hit Home

When Grace Is a Privilege: A Realization from a Graduation Speech That Hit Home

I came across a graduation speech that’s been quietly making waves—a raw, moving piece by Ma. Harriet Aven Nuñeza, a BS Mathematics summa cum laude from the University of the Philippines Cebu. And while I’m not a fresh graduate, nor someone draped in a sablay recently, her words stopped me in my tracks.

She said:

“So no, I won’t stand here and tell you to make mistakes as many as you can. But I will say, when you do make mistakes—because you will—I hope you’re met with compassion… with understanding, not shame… with accountability, yes—but also with compassion.”

That hit different. Because we’ve all made mistakes. Some we’ve recovered from. Others still haunt us quietly. But what she said next lingered deeper:

“Because not everyone gets the same margin of error… sometimes, the harshest consequences aren’t for the biggest mistakes—but for the smallest missteps made by those already walking a tighter rope than most of us.”

The Uneven Weight of Mistakes

Her words shine a light on something we often ignore: grace is not distributed equally.

Some people are allowed to stumble and get back up with applause. Others fall once and are never given another shot. And when you come from a place of struggle—whether that’s financial hardship, systemic inequality, or simply being different in a world that doesn’t embrace difference—you often walk a thinner line.

I was reminded of colleagues who were let go over minor errors while others survived bigger ones because of who they knew. Of classmates whose one academic failure cost them scholarships, while others got quiet favors. Of people I know who didn’t get a second chance—not because they weren’t worth it, but because the system wasn’t built to catch them when they fell.

The Call for Compassion with Accountability

What struck me is how Harriet didn’t romanticize mistakes. She wasn’t saying “fail freely” or “just be kind always.” She acknowledged accountability. But she layered it with empathy, and that’s the nuance we often miss.

Compassion doesn’t mean excusing every misstep. But it does mean asking:

• Why did they fall?
• What support system failed them?
• Do they have the same resources to rise again?

Because sometimes, the answer isn’t just personal fault—it’s structural fault lines.

Realization: Success Is Never Just About Grit

We love stories about grit—“I worked hard, so I got here.” But Harriet’s speech reminds us that hard work alone doesn’t guarantee success. Some work twice as hard and still don’t get half the opportunities. And when those people fall, they often fall harder.

Compassion, then, is not a luxury. It’s a responsibility. Especially when we benefit from systems that have shielded us more than we realize.

Final Thoughts

To anyone who’s made a mistake, been misunderstood, or faced harsher consequences than they deserved—I hope you find spaces that hold you with both accountability and compassion.

And to those who have the power—teachers, employers, leaders, peers—I hope we choose to be gentle, especially with those walking tightropes we’ve never had to balance on.

Because in a flawed system, grace isn’t just kindness. It’s justice.

Thank you, Ma. Harriet, for saying what so many of us have felt but couldn’t name.